Sleep Catch up   6 comments

So for a week or so I didn’t write because everything was seemingly back on track and we were just going along, enjoying how it went.

Then I didn’t write for a week or so because things were horribly wrong and I was too grouchy/tired to be bothered writing about it. At that point it wasn’t so much LA that was the problem but Cera, our furry baby. I don’t know if it was jealousy or what not but she suddenly decided to wake up a couple of times a night … between LA’s wake ups!

And when she wasn’t waking me up she was waking LA up. So between the two of them I was getting up nearly every hour.

Not good.

Steve and I were just talking about moving her to her own room.

We both love having her close but we definitely want to make sure at some point in the future our bedroom allows for some privacy for us as a couple… not just as parents. We are ok with her coming in for nightmares, thunderstorms, tummy aches and even just for morning cuddles… but eventually we want to have the evenings for ourselves.

The problem is she still is inconsistent with her sleep and I feel that if we move her it will only make her sleep more inconsistent. Mainly because it will take me longer to get to her and she will be more awake by the time I get there.

We tried giving her oatmeal right before bed…. I’ve tried several of the No Cry Sleep solution… but we are at the point that where Daddy will have to be involved too.

I hate to ask him to do this because he is at work all day and I don’t want to mess up his sleep too much. I know it’s a natural parent thing… but since LA sleeps in until 9 or 10 I get to sleep in a bit. Not fabulous or consistent sleep mind you but it helps take the edge off any night wakings etc.

But I think we’re there.

We talked about it a bit and I think soon we’re going to try to have him put her to bed. I already know that in the evening if he goes in and puts the paci back in her mouth for a wake up she goes right back to sleep 90% of the time. If I do it it doesn’t work 90% of the time lol.

So I think once she’s over her initial shock of it being Daddy in the middle of the night (and I pretty much guarantee she will be furious the first few times) I think it might help her get used to not having that middle of the night feeding and we can go from there.

I hope….

And I’m trying to get Cera to stop doing the night time wake ups… feeding her earlier, helping her find a comfy place to sleep (pretty much any soft surface OTHER than her bed)… if she keeps it up I’ll have to take her to the vet because it’s not normal for her to potty this much at night.

So hopefully that will work….

hopefully……

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Posted April 19, 2011 by etainl in Mommy-hood, New Mom, Sickness & Health

6 responses to “Sleep Catch up

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  1. Oh man! I remember this phase of parenting with Dagny. I know things sound easy with stuff I post about Bode…but Dagny was a completely different story. Not a horror story, mind you, but she was and is considerably more needy at bedtimes. We have been gradually working towards being able to lay her in bed, walk out of the room and her fall asleep on her own since she was 6 months old. We literally just achieved success with it about 2 weeks ago.

    • Any tips for the night wake ups? She goes to bed pretty easy… When she wakes up she goes back to sleep easily if I nurse her. It’s just wed like her to sleep for a longer block of time.
      I’m hoping if she gets used to daddy putting her to bed it wont be a big shock if daddy tries to put her back to sleep. Then when shes not getting milk maybe shell put herself back to sleep sometimes when she wakes up.
      Right now if she wakes up she wants milk 3 out of 4 times…at least the times i know about.
      Sigh…plus right now she really only goes to sleep for me, and sometime i might want to be out past 9 lol (thinking of scheduled girls night next week lol sigh…i hope)

  2. I think it is an excellent idea for Steve to help out. I know he is working but the benefits of a sleeping baby out weight a week or 2 with an interruption. I think it’s good to change it up a bit. Because she is not hungry at night…she just wants you. I also think it is time to put her in her own room (that’s why you decorated it so beautifully 😉 It will give her a bit of her own independence.

    I would also add…maybe you should all get up at the same time (unless Steve gets up at 6am or something crazy like that). We always get up when F does and have breakfast together. And start our day. Then you have more daylight to work with and she can get consistent naps in (at her age M received 2 naps per day – mid morning and mid afternoon). Now he just gets one after lunch (started this at 15 months btw).

    M has always been an independent baby/toddler. I agree with Carly it really depends on the baby. As Bode seems more independent already compared to Dagny who is more needy. Maybe it’s a boy thing?

    Any way we from 4 weeks after birth had him in his own room. Main reason was we had In Laws in our bedroom for those weeks. But I prb would have stayed with M those first weeks.

    We also took turns at putting him to bed (still do). When he was under (not sure the age but before he could stand in the crib) we would do our bedtime routine (feed, bath, read, sing, rock to sleep) then gently transfer him to his crib if he stirred we would rub his back a bit till he fell asleep.

    Then he was standing up in his crib it got worse. We did the same stuff but he was more aware of what was going to take place (prb because he was older). He would cry when we left and would stand up crying. If it was longer than 5 mins I would go back in a console him (without picking him up) by rubbing his back and encouraging him to lay down. Sing. Then sneak out again. Sometimes he would fall asleep other times he would cry again and then fall asleep. It was hard at first. Normally he would always cry when going to bed (for months) no more than 3-5 mins.

    Then all of a sudden at about 15 months or so he just stopped. He would lay down and go right to sleep. Even now he doesn’t cry for nap time or bed time. He lays down on his pillow and pulls his blanket up to his arms and goes to bed. He does have a sleep pal – in French doudou (tiger you met him ;-). That does help a lot. She might still be too young for one. But you can start introducing some plush toys during the day and see if she prefers one over the others. M does not want to have anything to do with any other stuffed toy but Tiger for cuddling.

    Anyway that is our story. I think your ideas are great. If you want to try out the crying out method it doesn’t make you a bad mother for wanting some sleep. Kids need to learn also that they can’t always get their way. We are working on that with M right now. When I say no he throws a fit from time to time. He is challenging me…it’s a control thing. I see it with a lot of stuff right now…maybe I should blog about it. It’s really amazing how textbook kids can be. Once they hit toddler age they start to be very independent and want to take control of everything. It’s super amazing and super frustrating. i.e. with eating, potty training etc…

    Well I hope it gets better soon. About Cera…maybe it is jealousy. Or maybe there is a medical reason. But it prb is the jealousy. Good luck!

    TN

  3. The problem with her own room is that it is so far away. It takes me a bit to get over there to her… Once she is sleeping a slightly longer block or soothing herself back to sleep more often it will be great. In the meantime I feel like its just going to cause both of us to get less sleep. Especially on bad nights.
    It is the goal ultimately but I just don’t feel like were ready yet.

    Getting up as a family would mean us getting all up at 6 am with steve. I would be so miserable…I am not a morning person at all. I’m so blessed that she sleeps till 9 30ish. Plus if we did that she would need to go to bed considerably earlier and steve basically wouldnt see her at all in the evening. She does take two consistent naps. To her schedule (lol) they are midmorning and afternoon, about noon and then at 4 or 5ish. I’m kinda big into letting her internal clock lead at this point, as long as its not any crazy schedule.

    For naps we do our little nap routine and she just lays down and goes to sleep, no fuss. She rolls over on her side and is out.

    At night she was doing this for a while. Right now she nurses to sleep. I think this is mostly our fault because, as I’ve written, we kinda stink about being consistent with a bed time routine. For a while she was just laying down and going to sleep on her own for nighttime too.

    Our pediatrician said not to worry about weaning her off 2-3 night feedings yet. He said, while she doesn’t need them per se it’s still good for her to feel connected if thats what shes wanting. Tonight she is back to being “easy” she was up at 12ish and at 4ish but I think she would not have been up at 4 except her diaper had leaked.

    The thing is I don’t want to do the cry it out method. I’m totally ok with the sleep I’m getting. Of course, id like more too ..but I’m ok. I just want to address things before they get to be a problem. I realize we may need to do the method at some point, as she gets older etc (like you were talking about when they realize routine etc) but right now it feels too extreme for the small issues we are having.

    Basically I’m happy with her schedule.
    If I could keep her to 2-3 wake ups I’m good. If I could get her to 1-2 I would think we would be at an ideal for now.

    I guess I’m just blogging about it and trying things to see where we are. And what I’m realizing is that I only get frustrated when we have the night of 4-5+ wake ups…. And I’m starting to believe those are likely nights that she is dealing with teething or something.

    So I think we need to have things in place to help me deal with those nights…and to help us when we reach developmental points where she’s might resist sleep more.

    Sigh… Its amazing how much you analyze things as a parent that you never even thought about before!

    Thanks for the story and examples and thoughts….it all helps so much!

    Oh and I’ve been trying to encourage some snuggly loves but she doesn’t seem very interested in the quiet ones. Only the ones that make noise and she will fall sleep cuddling those in the car etc but they don’t seem like good nighttime choices lol… What do you think?

  4. Sleeping/Naps are hard… and it’s constantly evolving and changing as they age or hit milestones.. it can be very frustrating. Tegan was a horrible sleeper until about 7 months. We tried everything… she did the waking up every 2-3 hours thing and I wasn’t getting any sleep. I read all the books, probably about 3 or 4 different ones and in the end I still think it’s about what works best for your family. Every baby is different, every family is different. Some mommies work, some daddies work, both work, some stay home, etc. And so it changes the schedule of things for baby as well. For us it took alot of experimentation. I think some important things are…

    No matter what you decide to do… be consistent for at least a week or so. It takes time for a new schedule to set in or behavior to change.

    I do agree with TN about the routine… we hardly ever deviate from our bedtime routine.. it signals to them that it’s nighttime bedtime.. not a nap.

    Like TN we also alternate who puts her down, but we also aren’t breastfeeding right now. Have you thought about pumping and having daddy feed her at night sometimes? I know he works during the day.. and I respect that.. as I do and my husband work as well.. but being a mommy and wife is a full time job too.

    I think in the end it’s important to get on the same page with your husband. Me an mine actually wrote down a plan so we could refer back to it. I know lots of people who co-sleep, and you should move her back when your ready. After all this is going to go by fast… and soon you’ll be missing her in your bed! Sometimes now I just want to cuddle with Tegan, but she wont have it!

    Our solution initially was a modified cry it out method.. but honestly.. it took about 3 nights of crying… 10 min at most… and she was going right to sleep and sleeping the night through. But as she has become a toddler things have changed. We reverted back to the nightime wake ups and crying at bedtime and when we tried the modified cry it out again.. it didn’t work. So we ended up letting her cry it out without any stimulation from either of us.. and it worked. It made me feel horrible. But I could tell she wasn’t getting enough sleep, because of how she acted during the day ie. cranky, tired, fussy. So anyways… it’s a ongoing process… that’s forever changing…

    There is no wrong way. Do what is best for your family and your baby!

  5. Thanks ladies!
    This all really helps!

    I really think we need to sit down and make a plan together. With steps and all… Personally, I’d like to try the No Cry Sleep Solution list for a month or so before trying anything else.

    And we do need to stick with it for at least a week… the No Cry book suggests keeping a log because it’s easier to see improvement.

    Like I said, right now it’s not a problem but I know we have major teething coming, standing up, crawling, walking… and just the more willful toddler years and I want to try to keep it at “not a problem.”

    You’re right…I’d love to sleep cuddled with her more during the night… because she feels so sweet there. But we definitely want her to sleep in her own bed eventually so I stop myself because it will be harder on her if I get her used to that. So we just do mornings… because we figure that will always be ok with us 🙂

    It’s amazing how fast they grow!

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