The Sleep Game- part two   3 comments

So since writing my first blog she did much better. She went back to her two or three a night wake up rather than every two hours.

Much appreciated.

So I made an observation about her naps. Usually her naps last anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes. Ocassionally, on rare occasions they will go a couple of hours.

This past Monday I was so exhausted that after I did some chores I laid down to take a nap too. Well after about 20 minutes she woke up. In a sleepy haze I pulled her from her crib and laid in bed with her praying that she would give me five more minutes (ironically the reverse of the stereotypical “Mom! five more minutes please.”) To my surprise she cuddled up and slept for another 90 minutes! It was blissful!

On Tuesday she took about 30 minutes of nap on her own. When she woke up I laid back down with her for a bit… in the name of science. She fell back asleep and slept for another hour. I then had to get up and go to my part time job. I gently scooped her up and put her in her car seat, expecting her to wake up any moment. To my surprise she slept another hour!

This encourages me but also tempts me to just pull her into bed with me at night so I can sleep.

To top it off she slept better Tuesday night and Wednesday night when she had better naps.

Up to this point it’s hit or miss. My pediatrician recommended that I try not to nurse her every waking, just once or twice. That’s great… and sometimes that works but sometimes she is determined to nurse. And she cries. If she were in a different bedroom I could try other things- singing, her music, etc but since she’s in the same room with Daddy it’s a variable that just won’t work.

Another variable is the dogs. Whenever I get up to just give her the pacifier and soothe her back to sleep I will creep back to bed congratulating myself. But since the dogs (and sometimes the cat) heard me get up they bounce all over. Their nails make skittering noises on the hardwood and wake her back up. And I lose.

I just have felt so frustrated because I feel like with sleep there are two options- A. the cry it out method. I know lots of people swear by it. I know I do not want to be manipulated and I know children learn to do that but I don’t think she is yet. I know it can be effective and it can be lovingly used. I have also heard of parents who seem to use it so heartlessly I don’t know how they do it.  I realize it may be a necessity but I’d prefer to avoid it if I can.

And B. The Your Baby Calls the Shots and You’ll Sleep when She’s Ready method. I’m sure I don’t have to explain why this one isn’t working for us.

I just felt that there has to be a middle road for this. And if it is there I want to find it.

So as a teacher a few weeks ago I searched the internet for book suggestions. I found “The No-Cry Sleep Solution” and bought it. It arrived on Friday and I’m in the midst of reading it. So far it sounds good. I’m hopeful….

I’m going to follow her tips and see how it goes and I’ll document it here 🙂

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Posted March 10, 2011 by etainl in Mommy-hood, New Mom

3 responses to “The Sleep Game- part two

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  1. It’s hard…but I think she is waking up because of the comfort and habit. Not because she is hungry. At this age they can go for a full 12 hours at night.

    Ask your doctor about it. Not to be preachy per your other post haha… But I think she is old enough to start the crying out solution. If I remember correctly start out slowly…first night just soothe her other ways singing, rocking, rubbing her back…then leave (sneaky style…I remember doing this haha!). If she cries more than 10 mins start over again. Then slowly increase it every night. It can take a week… Just know the cry…if she sounds really distressed of course comfort her.

    It’s hard the first few nights for both of you…but it sounds like something she needs. Like all kiddos they like and crave patterns/routines. Right now her routine is to wake up and eat. But since she is now getting solids that need really isn’t there…it’s basically a want now.

    I know the dogs can be annoying when the baby is sleeping…I have this problem at the In-Laws. Nothing can be done…except moving them somewhere else.

    For the napping…I know it is tempting to lay down with her. I did that for a few weeks when we were in France in April (we were sharing the same room). We did not do this at home. He got used to it and when we returned he would not sleep right for a few weeks. They get accustomed to sleep patterns fast. I would do the same thing as the night time soothe her other ways. And let her cry it out.

    But then again every baby is different. M was always a good sleeper (and eater…).

    • She’s been really good up until about 3 weeks ago. Right around when we introduced solids. I am kind of thinking that the solids, and the adjustments to them threw her off. Which is the opposite of what people told me would happen… but there was a definite difference. Maybe just a change in diet….

      The last couple of nights she went back to her previous pattern of going to sleep at around 9, waking up once for about 10 minutes between 1:30 and 2:30 and then again between 4 and 6. Which I’m cool with….
      Her pediatrician says for her age the two night time wake ups is normal, good even, and that she probably only needs to eat for one of them. He said he wouldn’t worry about weaning her off them now… just to try to soothe her back to sleep before offering to nurse. He says considering she sleeps so late she does well (she still doesn’t get up until sometime between 9 and 10).

      So we’re going to stick to avoiding the cry it out method unless it’s necessary. Mom thinks we’ll have to use it at some point too… but she’s hoping we don’t! Sticking to Dr’s suggestion for now… and I’ll savor these two night feedings while they last I know it won’t be long before she doesn’t need them, or me.
      If that doesn’t work we’ll try the “No Cry Sleep Solution” first… I’ve heard good things about it.

      Hoping to keep the cry it out method as a last resort… fingers crossed.

      The first step is the tracking of her naps and sleep pattern for a couple nights. Her naps just seem so sporadic. I laid down with her today, because I was still recovering from a migraine and she still only slept 45 minutes… so maybe my observation was wrong. Even though she’s doing better than when I wrote the first blog, I’m going to track her sleep and see if I notice anything. The big problem is our day to day schedule varies so much!

      We’ll see!

      How old was M when he started sleeping through the night (the 5.5 hour mark) and how long does he sleep now?

  2. He was sleeping 6hours+ at 6 weeks. And at 3-4 months sleeping at least 10 -12 hours. I know this because I was back at work at 4 months and it was rare I would have a night where I had to wake up to feed him. He sleeps now 11 hours only because Papa wants a good hour with him in the morning and night (it’s hard here with his work schedule for F). But he would sleep at least 12 hours. Plus he gets a nap after lunch for 2 – 3 hours.

    When he was younger he would get 2 naps per day (morning and afternoon). Morning would be at least 2 hours and afternoon was about 1 hour. I think from when he was 8 months till he was 16 months or so. Then he started to only need one nap a day.

    I hope this helps. Every baby is different and I was blessed with a baby who loves to sleep.

    We never really had too much trouble putting him to bed when he got older (i.e. 1 year). He would maybe cry for 2 mins then pass out…then all of a sudden he would just lay down and go right to sleep no crying at all. For others it is a struggle to get their little ones down.

    M knows he is not in charge. We have always set ground rules down and schedules. But it’s good for him because he knows what to expect. But we also try to be flexible as well because their needs change quickly esp when they are LA’s age! I remember once we got used to a schedule it was time that he needed a change. i.e. when he changed from two naps to one.

    Do what’s best for LA! You will catch up on your sleep on the weekends when Steve can take over the night sessions 😉 This too shall pass!

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