So I dragged myself out of my cozy bed on this rainy, dreary morning with two things on my mind. One of which is our sleeping situation and the other I’ll save for another day.
It was hard to get out of bed. The Little Angel was all nestled against me with her hand on my chest and her head resting on my breast. We were all warm and cozy.
As I moved away her little arm shot out looking for me and her eyes opened a bit. Once my weight left the bed her eyes popped open and she was up.
So I grabbed the computer and now we are laying in bed. Luckily, she is fairly fascinated with the keyboard sound so maybe I can finish this post, maybe not. We’ll see.
LA doesn’t sleep with us now. The first two weeks or so of her life she slept in a little co sleeper thing-a-ma-bob that was in bed between us. It just made the most sense. She was nursing every 2-3 hours. We were jumping at every bump and sniff from her, it felt good to have her close. But when it was time for Daddy to go back to work we moved the co sleeper and baby into her bassinet which is right up against my side of the bed.
Steve offered to get up with me in the night but since I was nursing it just made more sense for it to be just me rather than for both of us to lose sleep. LA was a champ, she would whimper a bit or kick the side of the bassinet to indicate she was hungry and I would swoop her up nurse her and put her back in the bassinet where she’d promptly go back to sleep. If necessary I’d change her diaper, nurse her a bit more and she’d go right back to bed. No crying, no begging baby to sleep… 10-20 minutes top and I was back in bed. We have been very blessed.
Around six when Steve gets up he would change her again and bring her to me to nurse. At this point I would nurse her in bed with me and we would both fall back to sleep. I am SO lucky in that she would then sleep until 10 or 11 or even 12. Often, I can quietly slide out of bed and get things done in the bedroom or bathroom while she sleeps (I don’t like to leave her there on her own). I’m not much of a morning person so I might get up at 9 or 10 (or I admit it 11 or 12 with her lol).
When she wakes up I crawl back in bed with her and we nurse and play until it’s time to get up and get the day going. i love our quiet time in the morning before the world intrudes 🙂 It’s even better when Daddy is home with us.
This hasn’t changed much in the past four months except for the fact that we change her diapers less as she’s not quite the pooping machine she was at birth.
But we knew it would change.
We talked about co-sleeping and room sharing and all of that. For us co-sleeping doesn’t really work because Steve takes up a good chunk of the bed. Plus we are both pillow sleepers, so the bed has “stuff” in it. I tend to change sides frequently in my sleep. The few times she has shared a bed with us through the night (like when she was sick) I hardly slept at all because I was super conscious of her being there and I would wake up with my body cramped from being in one position for so long. On top of that, I appreciate the values and pros of co sleeping but I do tend to believe that she needs to have her own space and I think it’s best she get at least slightly accustomed to it when she’s younger rather than when she’s older and afraid of the dark etc. Also, I know some people are ok with their children sleeping with them until they are 4, 5, or even 7+ but for us that just doesn’t seem like a great idea. We’d like to have some time in the day that is just for us, not to mention the privacy to possibly have another child in the future!
So our decision was that around 3-4 months of age she’d move to the crib and continue getting in bed with us in the mornings. She would also be fine to sleep with us if she was scared or there was a storm or bad dream… mommy and daddy’s bed would always be available.
We figured she’d move to the crib when she started flipping and the bassinet was no longer safe.
So on New Years Eve she flipped for the first time from her tummy to her back. I know many children who did this earlier but we’ve not been vigilant about doing tummy time because she hated it so much and my pediatrician said as long as she was active she’d build up the strength other ways- which she did, she fully props herself up and all of that but we never did tummy time more than once a week. My point is she didn’t have the opportunity to do this flip earlier.
So I watched her on New Years Eve excited and proud and scared.
Scared because I knew the other flip was coming. The one that would take her out of the bassinet. And for all of my plans and our opinions and rationale I did not like the idea of my baby moving out of our room! I laid in bed last night and just watched her sleep…. it just feels so natural to have her right there, safe, where I can see her.
So we’ve been talking about it. And now that I’ve filled you in on the extensive back story I can get to the heart of the matter.
Besides my gut emotional response to the issue (“You can’t take my baby!” kind of thing) there are two “logical” reasons for this move to be a problem.
1. We have a split level plan- which I don’t like. Her room seems MILES away from ours. We do not yet have a monitor. Naturally, we will get one but still she will have to make quite a bit more noise than she currently does to get my attention through it. And by the time I wake up and get over there I feel there is a good chance she may be quite awake and upset. Which will possibly mean a more difficult time going back to sleep. It may throw off her whole sleep system and instead of having “the baby who never cries at night” we may have a problem that leaves me sleep deprived. Whereas now I don’t feel sleep deprived at all. Problem. BIG problem.
2. It’s still cold. I know for northerners this is nothing. But it’s cold here until late February or early March. We don’t generally turn on the heat because we enjoy the cold and we’re all bundled up. We have turned it on more than we used to because of her but we’d need to turn it up. I guess we can but I won’t be able to check on her as often during the night and anyone who has lived in Florida knows the weather changes frequently. I can’t put blankets on her for safety sake and I’m worried. Either I won’t sleep because I’ll be checking on her all night or I will sleep and we’ll wake up to a frozen or overheated baby.
So now I’m thinking she should sleep in our room another couple of months until it’s warmer and she’s sleeping longer.
My mom suggested that we use the pack and play to keep her in there a bit longer. Steve thinks we should just move the crib into our room, which has the benefit of keeping her in our room and getting her used to her crib. But we would not be able to move around our room with the crib in there.
It’s hard. I feel like we have to choose between keeping her in our room until she’s much older OR going with the “she has to sleep in her own bed and cry it out” method. And I’m not happy with either extreme. Neither seems to be right for her or for us. So we’re trying to find a middle ground.
At least we’ve decided that she is staying in our room for at least another two months… we have to decide how soon… and we’ll have to take it from there.
Anyone have any solutions?