For the first time since I was 16 I do not have an official “job.”
Besides the fact that I’m not working for a paycheck it’s also the first time, since I was 5, that my life doesn’t revolve around the traditional school schedule. This feels very weird to me still. Although I totally enjoy sleeping past 6 am.
I’m a stay at home mom.
However, since we have some debt we need to pinch pennies to make it work until I get a solid work from home job or I go back to work. I’ve been learning how to use coupons and shop sales. I’ve been reusing things and making things (homemade Christmas).
I was happy to learn right before Thanksgiving that I would be hired part time for Florida Virtual School which would be enough money to help me stay home with LA. A huge relief.
So the other day I got another part time job opportunity. It was tutoring College students online for English. Fabulous. Except instead of letting me do it from home I’d have to drive to Tampa and do it from their office…. major downside. But on the positive side they are open 24 hours a day and will let you make your own schedule.
I immediately told them I’d come in for the interview.
But when I talked to Steve he didn’t think I should. He said it would be a fourth job. I had to think. I work part time at the gym. I will work part time for Florida Virtual School and this…. oh yeah… being a Mom is a full time job too.
Kudos to my husband for counting it as a job, I wasn’t.
And I wondered why I wasn’t. It totally is. A full time job that doesn’t end at five o’clock and certainly includes nights and weekends.
There are two reasons. One that is good and I’m proud of and one that isn’t as positive.
The good one is I fail to count it as a job because I love it so much. I love waking up with LA and figuring out what we will do today. What can I do with her that will make her smile? What can I do to show her the world? If I have to run errands how can I make it more enjoyable or easier for her? It doesn’t feel like work… it’s a pleasure. I feel lucky to do it.
The not so good one is that I feel bad spending our money. I keep feeling like I need to ask Steve’s permission before I buy anything. He never asks but I’m always ready to explain any charges I made with our debit card. I think this may be because I’ve always used my own money.
When I explained that to Steve he said it IS my money too. Just because I’m not getting a paycheck in my name doesn’t mean I’m not working. And, he stressed, it is my money too. I’m very lucky to be married to someone who feels that way. I wonder why it’s so hard for me to remember that.
I called the tutoring part time job back and told them the drive to Tampa would be too much. And I’m relieved because it will mean more time to do the job I really love.